What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
