The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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