if only i could text you this smell
I wish i was in the wii world.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
When are your genitals available?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
