Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
