Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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