woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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