Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So here I am, sexting at work.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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