Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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