He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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