Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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