the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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