The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize