I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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