I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize