i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
