hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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