ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
