he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm getting married
To pizza
Come share oat with me in your robe
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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