Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
