We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
