i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
