No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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