I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize