I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
