we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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