That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I need moral support for this bender
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
