so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
