eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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