Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
