Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
