Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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