I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
