eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
