Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
