I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize