We should be called the Road Head Warriors
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Houston, we have a squirter
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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