: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
