I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
