Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
