please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
