Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
