You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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