I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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