After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
