i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
