Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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