Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
