D3 body, D1 cock
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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