she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
where are my eyebrows?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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