I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
