I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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