After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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