spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
