piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
