Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize