found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
