I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
This couple is walking their pig around campus
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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