I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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