Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
