It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
His hands were made for my vagina.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
