I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
