In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
