you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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