I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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