This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
