The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
