we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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