I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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